Woof Woof, No self control. Should have offered her a bone first. I have to get me one of those service dawgs shirts.
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Jake Goes to the Casino
By OookookachooAug 12, 09 11:03 AM
So, I look up from my laptop and there's my dog, Jake, sitting there with his leash in his mouth, looking pathetic. "What's up a Jake? You want me to take you to the doggie park so you can hump that cute German Shepard?"
"Nyo. Ia waugnt yaoou tyo tyawke maae tyo tha caysayino."
I sigh, "Drop the leash from your mouth so I can understand you."
Jake lets the leash fall and says, "I want you to take me to the casino to play cards."
"They won't let you in the casino, Jake. You're a dog."
Jake Barks, "They let you in!" then trots off to another room and comes back wearing an old red tee shirt on which he had taken a magic marker and written "SURVICE DAWG" on both sides.
I look at Jake and say..."Might work."
Once in the casinos' card room Jake darts into the bathroom and comes back out wearing a hooded sweat shirt, pulled over his ears, low on his brow and a pair of dark sunglasses. He has his leash and red tee shirt in his mouth and drops them at my feet and says, "Hang on to these. I don't have any pockets. And don't call me 'Jake' at the table. I want to be called...Mr. Bone. Got it? I'm Mr. Bone. And don't do anything to embarrass me while we're here."
"Embarrass you, Mr Bone?"
I'm two seats left of the dealer. On my left is the woman with the blue hair, horned rim glasses and the portable oxygen tank with plastic tubes in her nose. On her left is the large, round guy with the V.F.W. baseball hat. On his left is the cute young lady in a mini-skirt. On her left...Mr. Bone.
I'm dealt pocket tens and raise the blind under the gun. Everyone calls. I look at Jake, or Mr Bone, and notice that he is noticing the cute young lady in the mini-skirt.
Flop comes king, ace, ten. Small blind raises. I re-raise. Everyone calls. I spot a tell from Jake. His eyes are bulging and slanted toward the cute young woman in the mini-skirt and his jowls are begining to quiver.
A forth ten comes off at the turn. I raise. Everyone calls. A monster pot is developing and I have a monster hand.
I start to hear a very quiet, low, whinning sound coming from deep inside of Mr. Bone. He's no longer thinking about his hole cards and is just staring into the eyes of the cute woman in the mini-skirt.
Another ace on the river. Small blind bets. Big Blind raises. I re-raise. A call, a call, another call...Jake re-raises and gets called around. I have quad tens and in the biggest pot of my life.
Mr. Bone can't contain himself a second longer. He lets out a howl, leaps from his seat and begins to hump the leg of the cute woman in the mini-skirt with shameless abandon. She screams. The lady with the blue hair faints. The dealer calls for security and leaps over the table, mucking all the cards in the movement and wrestles Jake off the thigh of the woman in the mini-skirt. Jake darts out of the casino. I stand and mosey toward the door. I find Jake waiting by the truck. "So, Jake. You want to go to the doggie park now?"
Jakes says, "No. I'm beat."
randoman54
lmao>> I give up what were jake's hole cards?
great blog keep em coning