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part 2 A tale of the 4 river kings
By randoman54Aug 15, 09 02:35 AM
session#21 8/11/09 con't
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part 2 A tale of the 4 river kings
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Dinner conversation
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I will pick it up from when i walked out of the poker room steaming
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Walking toward the buffet I pass my gimmick video poker machine.I put my card in but the reader doesn't work so I stick a 20 in the one next to it.This machine was right out of the Nicholos Cage movie "gone in sixty seconds"
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I reach into my pocket for another 20 when FINALLY this little guy on my shoulder(without horns) starts pulling on my ear with wreckless abandon,trying to get me to come to my senses.
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Where the hell have you been'?I say to the little man who is now swinging back and forth on my ear lobe.Certainly not there(hell) he said" but I did go see Bette Midler.She sings like an angel"
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He starts to explain that throwing money down a sewer is not the answer to>>>>>OK OK I get it Let's go eat.The little guy says "now you're talkin".
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I stuff the 20 back in my pocket,Take my card out of the machine and head for the buffet.I give the lady my free buffet ticket(I love Free) ,order some coffee & milk and head for the food.
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When I got to the table the little guy jumps off my shoulder lands on the table and sits up against the sugar holder and says "Bring me some ice cream..vanilla this time and don't 4get the sprinkles."
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I say "can't they see or hear you? he says "no but they can hear you so shut up and get me that ice cream.
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I come back with his ice cream and then go to the salad bar and pile every heathy veggie on a big plate inc a bowl of beets and onions.
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We had a long talk over dinner and I realized this whole day was a set up to fail affair.To my credit I did prevent this day from becoming a disaster and turned it into a learning experience.
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.I sat at my table for an hour and a half.The waitress was very kind and attentive.When I reached in my pocket for the tip I discovered a few extra singles from the poker session.I gladly gave her $4 because she was so nice and I took up her table twice as long as I should have.
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Just b4 I leave the buffet I ask the little guy why he didn’t show up sooner.Bette Midler concerts only last 2 hrs.”you know the rules” he informs me “I can’t be on your shoulder while you have that big chip on it.
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””So where were you?” I asked.”Look” he says” I have other clients besides you”” Come on tell me,you know I can keep a secret”.I give him that look(like the one a kid has asking for a cookie knowing he is gonna get it) “O.K” he says but you can’t tell anyone.” “My lips are sealed” I quietly say.
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The little man sheepishly begins to tell me.”For some reason all the clients I have been getting lately are poker players and poker players are to say the least a big challenge.”
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He continues “I was with Jake for most of the day.” Jake is a very horny poker playing dog with no self control.It seems he cost his owner a HUGE pot at the casino when he started humping the leg of a beautiful women right there at the poker table,in the middle of a hand no less!!”
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“I found Jake at the vets office in a cage,alone scared and confused.”His owner told him he was going to a poker game for dogs. He had a pack of playing cards in his mouth and hadn’t anything to eat or drink in hours”
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As tears started welling up in my eyes I said “please go on”
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The little man continued.
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“.Well, there was no way around it,I had to tell him the truth point blank””Jake you are here to get your balls cut off because of your sexual behavior.”
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Jake dropped the pack of cards from his mouth and said”son of a b---ch”,I knew my owner was on a bluff”.Jake slowly laid down,lifted his leg and stared at his balls
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.”Where will they go when they cut them off?”Jake asked.”To doggie ball heaven” I replied,If you are good and get to dog heaven,They will be waiting for you in the will call section.St Benard will escort you there once you pass thru the boney gates.”
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That seemed to get Jake in better spirits.Jake sat there awhile,cocked his head and then said to the little man.”Let me get this straight>>My balls are going to heaven and I am staying here living the rest of my life with no balls.
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”Exactly” the little man said.The little man then told Jake he had to go because he had another client at the gold coast casino poker room.
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Jake said” never been there ,is it nice?”The little man told him”only if you are a glutton for punishment and you enjoy being sucked out on by workerbees and army ants”.Sorry I asked” Jake said to the little man.
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As the little man started to leave Jake yelled out”Wait please just 2 more questions” the little man replied” O.K. but make it quick.”
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Jake became very serious ,in an unsure voice he asked his two questions.
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“Without my balls can I “
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3 bet my owner preflop with a garbage hand and get him to lay it down?
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Run a 3 bisquit bluff going all in on the river and get my owner to fold?
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The little man smiled at Jake and said “ of course you can”
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Jake looked like he just had a revelation”.Gee I could never get him to fold before”
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With that a nice looking woman in a white lab coat walked down toward Jake’s cage.Jake quickly laid down on his side ,lifted his leg and gave his genital area a few last licks.
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“See you in Heaven” He said.
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Carry On
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Randoman54
I have to personally thank jake's owner Oookookachoo.His blogs on his dog Jake are beyond funny>.Genious in fact.While I was writing this blog I couldn't get Jake out of my mind.I kept laughing everytime I would think of it.So I decided to end this tale with a litle tribute to Oookookacho for all the smiles and laughter he brings us. I hope I made u proud sir.
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The world needs more people in it like Oookookachoo who brings a smile to every face that reads his blogs.
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I can't wait til i find out what happens when jake comes home.
aforte
Very enjoyable!